I think I’ve been OVER indulging lately! Thanks for the wake up call. You write very well and I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read so far.
.-= green ink´s last blog ..friday on my desk (and mind) =-.

I don’t have children myself so I can’t speak specifically to any of your more specific questions, but I did like how you pointed out that these periods of confusion and heavy emotions/sensations are often “passages” that we go through where we come out different on the other side. This is a really helpful perspective to have when our lives feel painful/uncomfortable.

Keep seeking answers. I wish you the best on your new journey! “One breath at a time.”

Also, to me, indulging an emotion is not accepting it – wanting it to “go away” which seems like the opposite of indulging. But the more I reject a thought or feeling, the more power it holds over me (begin to identify it because it has been given a ‘reality’ of its own). When I reject the thought or feeling and it begins to have power over me, then addictive behavior starts – worrying and fretting about the future, over exercising, going to movies, saying affirmations – all these things, for ME, are a way of reinforcing the wall that I build when I reject my emotions. And yet, when there are nights of insomnia because of the emotions, and it seems that they aren’t exiting the system as fast as i would like, I have to find a new paradigm for living – Society would call this “loss of functioning” and the medical model would cry “restore functioning at all costs”-
but in the mystic traditions, these times are passages that are really preparing us for a more expanded and happier way of relating to ourselves and the world we live in. So then, the questions I bring to inquiry are “I can’t handle this” or “this is too much” or “people will think I’m weak” or “I can’t afford to take this time off” or “people won’t understand” or “the body mind can’t handle this.” My coach recently invited me to become a scientist during these occasions – to get a notebook and paper and timer and time the moments when the sensations are speaking the loudest and watch them as outlined above (with curiosity and welcoming). Using this scientific approach, I found that I was able to endure very little sleep for several days (14 hrs in four days) with this approach as I watched things move and shift and change. In fact, I found my willingness and excitement over the whole process grow the less sleep I got! And, I trusted I would get the sleep when my body really really needed it (which I did). The result has been that I am moving through this episode with much more flexibility and fluidity and it is not being prolonged by resistance. Of course, in between this concentrated time were plenty of long walks, eating, exercising, resting (if not sleeping), reaching out when I needed to, reading, dancing, and other things that appeared “on top” when some emotions had dissipated.

now, a question comes up for me: When I’m a new mother and emotions/sensations are strong and “on top” and the baby appears to have strong sensations that are “on top” in the form of crying, how do I both care for myself and the baby at the same time? I suppose the stressful thoughts I can question are:
1) I won’t want to comfort a crying baby (it won’t come naturally) (is it true?)
2) The baby’s needs are more important than mine (is it true?)
3) My needs are more important than the baby (is it true?)
4) When I have strong sensations running through my body, I need to address them immediately (is it true?)
5) Addressing a crying baby is not addressing myself (is it true?)
6) I must rely on my own strength (is it true?)

So this “either/or paradigm is getting looked at right now.” I believe there is away to both be addressing your own inner life and the life of those around you without resisting either. So, to that end, one breath at a time!

Thanks again for your post.

Kathryn

Arswino – Yes, “why” is an important question that we need to continually ask.

Daphne – Thanks for the comment! I agree our emotions don’t really fall into neat categories.

Nice distinction between feeling your emotions and indulging them. I also agree that identifying emotions is important, instead of reducing every feeling to ‘anger’, ’sadness’ or ‘happiness’. We have such a rich repertoire of feelings and should welcome the opportunity to experience the whole range! Thanks for this post.

Daphne’s last blog post..Interview: Lance from Jungle of Life

Arswino’s last blog post..Achievement of Goals

What a timely post — I had an emotional day today. Sometimes my feelings do get pretty overwhelming, as I’m a very emotional guy.

Thanks for this.

ari

Ari Koinuma’s last blog post..Embracing Reality (Especially When It’s Challenging)

Jarrod – Yes, we don’t always want to follow our emotions where they are leading us, but they do always have a message for us which is why I’m calling them “intelligent.”

Lance – Understanding where our emotions are coming from helps us to take the right action, so, like you said, we don’t get too emotional!

Lance’s last blog post..Sunday Thought For The Day