“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.” – Paul Tillich
Being alone is not considered an optimal state. We value relationships, being social and constant interaction with others. But there are times in our lives when we are by ourselves – either by choice or not – and we don’t have the relationships we desire. We tend to avoid being alone as much as possible, and view it as a necessary evil when it does occur.
But, not only is being by yourself unavoidable at some points, it’s actually desirable. Having the relationships that we want depends on our time by ourselves, because this is the time when we learn to like ourselves and develop faith that we are capable. Next time you are facing being alone – don’t fight it – just follow these ideas for making the most of it. And remember, in order to have great relationships we must learn to be by ourselves.
Practice Being By Yourself
Some people are naturally inclined towards spending time alone with themselves. But others cringe at the thought. For those who are not inclined towards time alone make it a practice to “have a meeting with yourself” every day. Take 10 minutes and check in with yourself. Ask how you feel and what happened in your day that gave or took away your energy. Or, just sit quietly and listen to the silence. Think about it this way – if you are working on a project at your job you would regularly check in with the other people working on the project. You all need to know how the others are coming along – leaving someone out of the loop may be detrimental to your success. You have this same obligation to yourself. Check in with You regularly.
Being Alone Leads To Better Relationships
Sometimes we enter into relationships only because we would rather not be alone, even if the relationship is not ideal. You may feel that any relationship is better than being alone, but, you are selling yourself short. Having fulfilling relationships is something that all of us desire, so pursue the relationships you really want, rather than the most convenient one. When you are comfortable being alone you don’t have to jump into the first relationship that comes along. As an added bonus, being comfortable with yourself and gaining self knowledge makes you more interesting, and a more desirable partner. Get comfortable being by yourself and the right relationships will come along.
Pursue Growth Opportunities While You Are Alone
The best part about being alone? You get to do whatever you want. 🙂 Being by yourself is the time to do things that you may not undertake when you are with a partner, or simply find out what it is that you really want to do. Also, having to rely on yourself develops courage and competence. Lastly, being alone allows you to learn about yourself, and you may find that you like yourself more and more. Make the best of time alone. Don’t sit around wishing you were with someone else. Think of all the things you can do and then do them. Being alone is an opportunity, not a curse.
For better relationships (with yourself and others), spend time alone.
How do you feel about being alone? Was there a time when you became more comfortable being by yourself? Feel free to leave your answers in the comments section.