Here is a rule to remember when anything tempts you to feel bitter: not, “This is a misfortune,” but “To bear this worthily is good fortune.” – Marcus Aurelius
No matter how confident you may be on a regular basis, sometimes we all have periods of insecurity. This can be a blow to a person who normally feels pretty good about themselves. It can leave you wondering if you might not ever get that confidence back.
Going through life transitions often leaves us feeling a little less than confident. In new and challenging situations, we often don’t know what to do.
So, what’s to be done when you don’t know what to do?
9 Ways to Regain Your Confidence When You Are in the Grasp of Insecurity
- Don’t Panic – When you begin to feel as if you’ve lost your footing, it can shake you into a panic. Maybe you are in a situation where you need to perform. Or maybe you are in a circumstance that has always been a rock of stability for you. When you start to feel a bit insecure, don’t panic, because panic will just get you stuck.
- Remember That It’s OK To Feel As You Do – We have a tendency to judge ourselves for experiencing negative emotions. We judge that it’s a “bad thing” to feel anger or frustration or insecurity. When, really, that emotion simply indicates to us that there is action to be taken. Next time an emotion is making you feel bad, allow yourself to feel that emotion without any judgments. Anything that you feel is OK.
- Go Backwards – Why do you feel the way you do? Where did it start? Reflect backwards in order to help you see where the emotion is coming from. If you can figure out it’s root, that can help you know what action to take next.
- Remember What You Have Already Overcome – Think back on all of challenging situations you’ve already overcome. Remember the problems that you’ve already solved. It’s funny that when we feel insecure, we can forget that we’ve already accomplished so many things. If you have lived for any length of time, you are already an accomplished problem solver. We all are. You will get through this too.
- Like and Accept Yourself – This is a general recommendation that makes any negative emotion easier. When you like and accept yourself as you are, you can more easily accept what you feel too. And, you can be optimistic that you can handle anything that comes your way. Make friends with yourself.
- Solve a Simple Problem – When there is a big problem that you are struggling with in your life, sometimes you can regain some confidence by solving a smaller one. Besides the satisfaction of accomplishing something, it also reminds you of your problem solving skills. Then you can move on to the greater challenge.
- Find Something To Fall Back On – When you are feeling lost, keep in mind that thing that you can always come back to. Think of something constant in your life. What never fails you? What do you trust the most? Ideally, this is something that comes from inside of you.
- Recognize that Things Happen in Cycles – You will always have periods of insecurity, because you are always growing. A period of struggle doesn’t mean you are doomed to failure, it probably means you are learning something new. We often have to struggle with new material first before we understand it.
- Wait it Out – Sometimes the only thing to do is to put one foot in front of the other. Sitting with our uncomfortable emotions is necessary to move past them. Remember, they won’t kill you. 🙂
What do you do to regain confidence when you feel you’ve lost it? Share your ideas in the comments!