“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” – Tennessee Williams
If you want to have more friends, being likeable is essential.
Being likeable is not hard to do! It all boils down to whether or not people enjoy your company. When others find you enjoyable to be around, they want to spend more time with you. When they don’t find you enjoyable, no matter how many other talents or skills you have, they don’t want to spend as much time with you.
And the great part is, you don’t have to change who you are in order to be likeable.
6 Ways to Be More Likeable and Make Friends Easily
Like Yourself – This is the most important step and where it all starts. If you don’t really like yourself or only “kinda” like yourself, other people are going to take that as a cue for how much they should like you. People who like themselves display certain characteristics – they are (generally) relaxed, comfortable, friendly, kind and pleasant. Other people will like you as much as you like yourself, so do yourself a favor and make friends with you! Think about your particular qualities and how they allow you to uniquely contribute to the world.
Recognize the Best in Others – We meet people everyday who have a mix of qualities – some we like and some we don’t. Always focus on those qualities that bring out the best in people. If the guy who sits next to you talks incessantly, but is a really positive person who brings great energy to the people around him, focus on his positive attitude even if his talking irritates you sometimes. He’ll appreciate that you recognize his good qualities. We all want the best of ourselves to be reflected back to us. Be a mirror for people’s best qualities. (And recognize that you, too, are a combination of traits that others like and dislike.)
See Yourself As Others Do – You want to make sure that you are communicating what you think you are communicating. Many times, what is inside of us is not reflected on the outside. Do you know how other people see you? Become aware of how you appear to others, and make sure that you are the one managing the message.
Say “Yes” – When another person asks you if you would like to “help out”, “join in”, or “be a part of” say “Yes” liberally. However, in order to say “Yes”, you also have to be able to say “No.” If you have trouble saying “No” when you really don’t want to or can’t do something, saying “Yes” all the time may not be helpful. When you feel that you can say “No” if you need to, saying “Yes” automatically starts to happen more often.
Say Hello – Be sure to greet people you run into throughout the day. A greeting is a friendly acknowledgement of another person, and most people are highly appreciative of this because it makes them feel “seen.” People don’t like feeling invisible. Based on the situation, a greeting could be many things – a quick chat or even just brief eye contact. Decide what is most appropriate for your situation.
Be Fun – If you like to have fun, you probably are fun too. Fun people tend to smile and laugh a lot. You don’t have to be the one telling jokes and stories, you just have to enjoy them.
What other qualities make someone likeable? Please share your ideas and tips in the comments. Thanks. 🙂