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Waiting To Be Rescued?

by DownTown Pictures

“We’re our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.” – Tom Robbins

We spend a lot of time in life waiting for others to rescue us from situations that we don’t like.  Like a small child, we look around at the people in our life and wait for them to do something for us, to help us out of the circumstances we have found ourselves in.

Maybe it’s the stories we read while growing up, or simply the memory of the reliance we once had on our parents or other adults in our lives.  But whatever it is, it’s tempting to sit around and hope that one day someone else will come and rescue us.

What we don’t realize is that we always have the power to rescue ourselves and, in fact, are put in situations in the hopes that we will come to this understanding.

No One is Coming for You (or for Me)

When I had finished my master’s degree and was finally finished with school I had a lot of choices to make about the direction I wanted my life to take.  Only, the thing is, I wasn’t really making them.

I needed a job, and more importantly to start a career, but I felt ambiguous about the jobs I was applying for and even the field that I had graduated in. I needed money, but without a job I had none, and without money I had no apartment. I was living back at home, with no job and little money, and to top it all off, in the last year, a long-term relationship with a boyfriend had ended.  I didn’t feel very good.

But, the worst part was, I was waiting for a rescuer.  Waiting for someone to swoop in and solve the problems I had.  That would have made my life easier and I wouldn’t have had to figure it all out myself. So I waited and waited, and the situation became more and more uncomfortable.

And then I realized that no one was coming.

In this moment of mild despair, however, was the realization that I could rescue myself.  When I stopped waiting around for the “easy” rescue, in a funny way, my life actually got easier.

I had to figure out how I was going to get around my own problems, and that was certainly harder than sitting around, but things started to happen that I wanted, and that made my life easier.

I got a job that wasn’t perfect, but a good first job.  Then I had money (not that much, but enough to live) and soon after that I had an apartment.  Life was looking up.

How to Be Your Own Hero

Recognize Your Own Power – When you wait around for a rescuer you give away your own power.  Take back your power by recognizing that you are the only one with the solutions to your problems (not that you can’t ask for help – that’s a solution in itself).  You can handle anything that comes your way.

Use Courage Courage is taking action in the face of fear.  You will (should) have fear as you rescue yourself from whatever dragon has crossed your path.  But remember, dragons serve a purpose too – they test us in ways  that bring the best out of us.  Don’t fear the dragon, fear what will happen if you don’t face the dragon.  You are prepared for the dragon, even if you don’t think so.

Have Faith – Sometimes you will have little else.  When you are standing upon a ledge and it’s a long way down, sometimes the best thing to do is to jump.  You may be surprised at how soft your landing is.

Trust Yourself – You know best how to get to where you want to be.  You just have to figure out where that is.  The rest tends to unfold after that.

The next time that you find yourself hoping to be rescued, remember – You are the hero.

Thoughts?  Ideas?  Share them in the comments!

{ 24 comments… add one }
  • Jarrod - Warrior Development July 8, 2009, 7:00 am

    Be a Hero. I like 🙂

    I think a subtle problem that often hits even when we believe we are being a hero is that we are just keeping ourselves busy while the things that really matter are just sitting there.

    Like dusting the corners of a room and then sitting back glad that the corners are not dirty. Convincing yourself that is what you want when really deep down you want true cleanliness in the whole place.
    .-= Jarrod – Warrior Development´s last blog ..How to Give Happiness When it Must be Taken =-.

  • Positively Present July 8, 2009, 2:52 pm

    Great post! I do believe that many people are waiting to be rescued somehow, by someone. It’s not going to happen. We have to rescue ourselves, hard as that might be at times. You’ve offered some great advice on how to do that in this post and I really appreciate it!
    .-= Positively Present´s last blog ..how to write a life worth living =-.

  • Amanda Linehan July 8, 2009, 9:30 pm

    Hi Jarrod – Yes, to really be our own hero we have to know what we truly want. We have to know where we are going after we rescue ourselves. 🙂

    Hi Dani – It’s tempting to believe that someone is coming for us, but much more empowering to know that we don’t have to wait. 🙂

  • Tess The Bold Life July 9, 2009, 3:00 pm

    I think today more and more people are discovering nobody is being rescued. Everyone needs to pull it together and rise up above the economy, loss, fear etc. I do think we can all find support not by rescuing or waiting to be rescued but by helping others get what they want. It’s the fastest way to get what you want.
    .-= Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..The Power of Focus =-.

  • Amanda Linehan July 12, 2009, 8:56 pm

    Hi Tess – Yes, and helping others takes our mind off of the fact that we are not being rescued!

  • Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching July 13, 2009, 4:23 pm

    Thanks Amanda, I’m inspired by your story of self-rescue and I can definitely see parallels to when I finally left my old career.

  • Amanda Linehan July 14, 2009, 7:33 pm

    Hi Chris – Self-rescue is a powerful moment, and very liberating. I’m sure it must have felt that way as you changed careers. 🙂

  • laurie ruettimann - punk rock hr August 26, 2009, 7:19 pm

    Love, love, love this post.
    .-= laurie ruettimann – punk rock hr´s last blog ..I Don’t Care About You =-.

  • Amanda Linehan August 27, 2009, 6:19 pm

    Hi Laurie – Thanks a lot. 🙂

  • Dazy January 2, 2010, 12:32 pm

    I like and agree with all you say, but still, I don’t know where to start.

  • Amanda Linehan January 8, 2010, 12:34 pm

    Hi Dazy – I understand. 🙂 That first step can be really difficult.

  • tigerlily January 19, 2010, 1:13 pm

    That was JUST what I needed to hear.
    Thanks

  • Amanda Linehan January 23, 2010, 11:22 am

    Hi Tigerlily – You’re welcome and thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  • Grace & Peace January 25, 2010, 11:59 pm

    Sometimes, we are told we can stand on our own feets. We live in the world said two is better than one, three hahah definitely is a good thing… The MORE is the BETTER…isn’t ? When we put our hopes,dreams, attention fully on others, we are a fool. That’s why people alway call “LOVE” is fool. Love is beautiful if it is, but often when one sacrifice one own SELF-LOVE, we lose the power of taking care ourselves and taking responsbilities of our own happiness.

    Your story is inspirational!!

  • Grace & Peace February 8, 2010, 4:37 am

    A good book that strengthens this idea about the importance of having a self-loving relationship with your soul, which is YOU.

    Choosing Me Before We” by Christine Arylo. I highly recommend to everyone

    Blessings!!

  • Amanda Linehan February 8, 2010, 11:16 am

    Hi Grace & Peace – Thanks for the recommendation!

  • Roxanne February 17, 2010, 9:30 am

    I actually cried when i read this, how stupid. I didn’t think i was still waiting to be rescued, but i am. My family keep telling me what i should do, but i don’t listen because it’s not the right answer i’m hearing. This helped, gave me that final shove to stop moping around waiting for someone to finally tell me the right answer.
    Thank you.

  • Amanda Linehan February 23, 2010, 9:33 pm

    Hi Roxanne – Glad you found the article useful. 🙂 Good luck in whatever you are pursuing!

  • David January 15, 2011, 7:27 pm

    This has been my life for the past 7 years. I care for my elderly parents and feel trapped in my siruation. When I feel the need not to stay here ant longer, I find myself with the dilemma with what to do next? I’m currently unemployed and reside in the room I grew up in. NOT fun! I guess I will have to rescue myself when the time comes.

  • Nix February 20, 2011, 6:29 pm

    Thank you for writing such an inspiring blog. It sure requires a lot of empathy to understand what goes in the head of an INFP. I have been tired of playing a victim all my life(abusive childhood/bereavement/severe illness). I had finally decided to take charge of my own life…and am thinking of recording it in the form of a journal/blog. It is synchronicity that has lead to your blog especially this post the same day when I decided to rescue myself. I take it as a Green signal from the Universe…and assurance that Ii have made a right start…:)

    You sure have lot of insights to share…keep up the good work!

  • Patrick July 5, 2011, 4:00 pm

    Guilty as charged. I think I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone to rescue me. Thanks for the post. It may turn out to be one of the most important posts I’ve ever read.

  • Amanda Linehan July 10, 2011, 9:19 pm

    Hi Patrick – I hear what you’re saying. Glad this post was helpful. 🙂

  • Ellie B. September 2, 2011, 8:06 pm

    I needed this more than you know! I did not realize I was looking to be saved until I was in my early 40’s, i.e. NOW. I am still trying to figure this stuff out. It is scary, and I never considered myself a wilting flower. I question who I am at the very core.

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