In order to grow and change we have to step out of our comfort zones.
That’s pretty standard for all of us interested in personal growth and development. You’re not going to get anywhere new staying right where you are.
But throughout the years, I’ve noticed something about stepping out of my comfort zone and the level of fear that I’m feeling.
If you think of your comfort zone as a circle around where you are right now, outside of that are a number of concentric circles that represent activities that get farther and farther away from your zone of comfort. Each circle has a level of fear associated with it.
So activities that are in the next circle outward give you a little prickle of fear–nothing crazy, but enough to cause mild discomfort. Activities in the circle after that legitimately scare you–thinking about them causes your heart rate to rise a little and your breathing to get shallow.
The circles go on until the very last one labelled “terror.” I also like to think that somewhere close to terror is a circle labelled “so scared you pee your pants”. But that’s just me.
I have found over the years that when I want to grow beyond my comfort zone a gentle approach often works best for me. Picking activities in one of the first two circles lets me leave my zone, but not experience too much fear, which will often hinder my growth process.
I like gradual approaches, so when wanting to grow I look for both scary and doable. If something is so outside my current comfort zone that it’s terror-inducing, that’s a sign I’m probably not ready for it yet, even if it’s ultimately where I want to go.
And that’s the other great thing about the gradual approach. The more activities I do in the first two circles, the more that changes what’s in the other circles. So something that would have been in “pee your pants scary” has now moved into “prickle of fear.”
The thing about doing something that produces too much fear is that it becomes counterproductive to my growth. If I’m scared to the point of being completely overwhelmed, then I’m not going to grow, I’m going to simply feel paralyzed. So looking out for those things that produce a little fear but not too much is the way to go for me.
I’d love to hear if anyone actually prefers the terror approach to the prickle of fear approach. We all grow and learn in different ways. 🙂
Photo by Robert Bye on Unsplash
Amanda Linehan is the author of North, about a young woman on the run from her past, the law and an old adversary out to get her. Her newest release is Bored To Death: A Vampire Thriller, about a 300-year-old vampire trying to restore the balance between life and death. She has published five novels. Get a free short story every month when you sign up for her newsletter.
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