The Art Of Self Awareness

photo credit: Niffty..

Not knowing what you want is a great place to be. But not in the general sense. I mean in the specific sense.

It’s still a good idea to have some kind of direction that you are walking in. A general sense of what you desire in life. But you don’t have to have all the specifics worked out, and, in fact, it may be better if you never work out all the specifics.

Because the truth is, I don’t know that you could imagine every detail of what you really wanted. And if you tried, you would be limiting yourself.

Think of something you have now that you love, but that at one point in your life you couldn’t imagine. Clearly, you didn’t know that you wanted it, but it worked out really great.

Specifics make us feel comfortable, because we feel like we have some control over getting the things that we want, but we also get attached to specifics, and too much attachment usually doesn’t lead to the results that we want.

The next time you find yourself tempted to get really specific about the things you want, hold off. Remember what you desire in the general sense, but leave out what color it is, at what time you will find it, and who will deliver it to you, because, honestly, you can never know those things. That’s what makes it exciting.

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photo credit: SweetOnVeg

Everyone wants to be confident. Self confidence helps us gain our footing in the external world, allows us to get the things we want in our careers, in our relationships, in our social life. In short, self confidence helps us in our interactions with other people, even though it pertains to the way we feel about ourselves.

If you want to create the spark of self confidence, ask yourself this question:

Do I Like Myself?

When the answer to this question is “yes,” self confidence comes easy. When you like yourself, you like the particular way that you interact with the world around you. Your perspective of the world is unique to you, and because of this, all of your interactions in the world are unique to you.

So when you like yourself, you like the unique way you act out in the world with other people. And there’s your confidence.

If the answer to the above question is “I don’t know,” “Maybe,” or even “No,” you know what you need to do. Go make friends with yourself.

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photo credit: Eric M Martin

Every so often during the day it’s good to check in with yourself to ask:

How Do I Feel?

This takes very little time and allows you to take your emotional temperature periodically. After you ask yourself this question, quickly label what you feel. Frustration, boredom, contentment, peace, etc. Don’t spend too much time with the labeling, just go with whatever comes to mind.

Afterward, spend a minute or two just feeling. Don’t think about it too much because if you do you will tend to spin a story around it. You want to just practice feeling.

If it feels right, let the emotion subside. Notice what “made” you feel that way. Does that person or circumstance always make you feel that way?

Spend another minute or so seeing if there is anything else you can learn about yourself from these moments. Then, continue going on with your day. You are finished.

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photo credit: Mykl Roventine

Procrastination does not have a good reputation. He steals our productivity, robs us of achievement and runs off with the attainment of our goals.

So we protect ourselves from Procrastination with shields and swords and all manner of armor and weaponry. Sometimes we feel as if we are winning and feel pretty good about ourselves.

And yet, Procrastination finds a way to get around all of our protection, because, ultimately, there is an inexplicable joy to doing things we want to do when there are other things that need to be done.

But maybe we don’t need to protect against Procrastination. Maybe Procrastination is our friend. He certainly is very enjoyable company.

The Thrill of Being Pulled

The real joy of Procrastination is in allowing ourselves to be pulled towards whatever we are drawn to.

If we lift our heads up from our work for a moment and look around, something to the side may catch our eye.

A forbidden path. The road less travelled. Whatever you want to call it, adventure and uncertainty call to us as we look off into the periphery.

Too many times we see that thing that calls to us and ignore it, feeling we should instead keep walking the straight line that we are on now. That it will be faster and more efficient.

Procrastination allows us to wander off into the grass or into the trees to find things that we never knew existed. He alerts us to the possibility of joy.

The Infinite To-Do List

When our to-do lists reach a certain length we tend to tell ourselves that if we do not work solely from the to-do list certain doom will soon be upon us.

Procrastination tells us that this is not true.

When we hang out with Procrastination for a little while (or a long while as it may be) there always comes a time when he must go home. At this time we can go back to the items on our to-do lists, to wait for him until he comes knocking on our door again.

Procrastination may come and go, but the items on our to-do list will always be there for us. So it’s wise to catch Procrastination when he comes around and save our to-do list for when he’s not.

Getting Stuff Done

Procrastination is a fun friend, but he has a sixth sense about when we really need to get some stuff done and allows us our space to do so.

He wants to be able to pull you with him on various whims at random times of the day, but he knows that in order for this to be possible you do have to complete some of the to-do list items.

So he goes and plays with other friends, leaving you to work and be productive. Allowing you to feel good as you mark a line through those items you’ve completed.

Procrastination is not clingy. He wants to have fun with you, but he knows that too much of a good thing is not a good thing. And frankly, he has to work on his to-do list too.

“I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” – Scarlett O’Hara

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photo credit: notsogoodphotography

I often find myself dreading situations where I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I know it will be uncomfortable, and I may have to feel dumb for a while. And yet, in the end, I find that it has not only been rewarding, but enjoyable too.

Possibility

When you don’t know what you’re doing there is nothing to lean back on. This creates discomfort, but it also allows you to be much more open to possibilities. Things you probably would have missed otherwise.

When you’ve been doing something for a long time, you have a routine. You know where everything is going to be each step of the way, and that feels good because you don’t have to expend a lot of energy.

But with too much comfort, seeing possibilities gets harder. When you don’t know what you’re doing, you have to take everything as it comes, and see what you can do with it. By remaining open, you spot possibilities easily.

Play

I find that when I lose the sense of play in my work (paid or otherwise) my stress levels begin to rise. When I play, I’m more open to learning, I’m more creative, and willing to take appropriate risks. When I don’t play, I become rigid, focused on completing the task as fast as I can, and the task becomes joyless.

Not knowing what you are doing is a wonderful place to play. You are discovering boundaries, you are developing a system, and there is plenty of room to explore.

Fear cannot exist in Play. Becoming to attached to certain results makes us fearful. When we play, the results simply happen, whether we expected them or not. By being playful with your task, you push that fear out of the way, and allow yourself the opportunity to find the unexpected.

Enjoyment

When you don’t know what you are doing, enjoyment is easy to come by. By being open to possibility and keeping a sense of play as you explore your activity, you engage with your activity at a deep level. This kind of depth creates a richness to all your moments. The kind of depth that tends to pass us by if we are not careful.

When you don’t know what you are doing, each moment catches your attention because it has to. You’ve got to take each moment as it comes, feel it, explore it and live it, and not just get through it.

Each time I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing, I find a freedom in “not knowing” that I wouldn’t find in a familiar task. And, ultimately, I like that freedom, even if I have to feel dumb for a while to have it.

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photo credit: fazen

Spring cleaning for Look Far is now officially over. Actually, I guess it became summer cleaning also.

During my hiatus, I tweaked a couple of things, thought about where I wanted to take Look Far, and got re-energized about writing new posts. As far as non-blog activities, I enjoyed the warm weather, focused on writing fiction, and worked on some projects around my house. In short, I just took a nice long break.

Regular posting (once or twice a week) will resume next week. For the most part, everything will stay the same, except that I’d like to take a broader approach to the posts on this blog. “The Art of Self Awareness” covers a lot of ground, so I may explore a little more of that ground, but mostly not too much will change.

Thanks for sticking around and I’ll see you next week!

By the way, comments are open again and I do love Twitter. So please say “hello” if you feel moved.

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