What Do You Want For Your Life?

by Amanda Linehan on January 8, 2010 · 13 comments

Country Mile
Creative Commons License photo credit: Nicholas_T

This question seems like it should be simple to answer.  And yet, have you ever asked yourself what you wanted and couldn’t find an answer?

Asking what you want for your life is an exercise in possibilities.  But it can be hard to hold onto a possibility when the reality seems so different.  So…

What do you want?

When you ask yourself this question, the first stage is all about possibilities.  You don’t want to bring constraints or limitations into this step, so don’t judge or censor yourself here.

However, you do want your answers to be based in reality.  So, for instance, if you say you want to raise a herd of unicorns, this is probably not going happen because unicorns don’t exist.  Your answers can be a stretch for you to reach, but they should actually be reachable.

You can name small things and big things that you want.  There is nothing too small, or too big for you to want.  Trust that all your desires have an important place in your life.

Once you have all your desired possibilities listed out, begin to figure out how to make them reality.  You can start small here, in fact, it’s the best way to get started.  Pull yourself closer and closer to what you want.  Focus here on bridging the gap between your possibilities and your reality.  Don’t focus too much on how far away they seem, just keep walking towards them.

As you walk, the distance between them will become shorter and shorter.

How do you figure out what you want?  Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Where To Start

by Amanda Linehan on January 4, 2010 · 10 comments

U.S. Route 89
Creative Commons License photo credit: Wolfgang Staudt

You know that you want to get somewhere, or at least you know that you need to start walking.  But, where to start?

Well, the easiest place to start is by putting one foot in front of the other.  Simple.

But what if that foot doesn’t seem to want to move?  How do you get started when you feel more like a block of ice than a meandering stream?

Take The Absolute Smallest Step You Can Take

This still moves you forward (you only want to go backwards if that also takes you forward) and is very manageable when you are looking at a long road ahead.

Also, when you are taking the smallest step forwards you don’t need a “lion-amount” of courage, you may just need a “housecat-amount” of courage. (Then, as you continue to take more steps you can develop your lion-amount courage.)

What’s really important is to move forward, even if it’s only a centimeter (or a milimeter!).

But, what if you are really unsure of even the smallest step ahead?

Consider That You Already Know What The First Step Is

Maybe you just don’t want to do it, or feel that you don’t have quite enough courage yet.  Or maybe you anticipate that it will be uncomfortable.

Use your intuition to confirm what that first step needs to be and trust that you will be able to handle what comes after that first step.

Getting started is not really about knowing what to do first, but knowing that you have the ability to do what needs to come first.

So take that first (tiny) step.

What tips do you have for “getting started”?  How do you decide where to start?  Please share in the comments!

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How To Be Yourself

by Amanda Linehan on December 30, 2009 · 10 comments

photo by: o palsson

You have probably heard the advice “be yourself” many times.  It seems simple enough, and usually feels good to hear.  But many people don’t have a clue how to do it.

There is really only one thing you need to remember as you are trying to be yourself:

Go towards what you are attracted to.

This is the cardinal rule of being yourself.  It’s pretty simple, really, but can be difficult to put into practice.

There are many reasons why you might not go towards what you are attracted to.

You don’t know what that is.
You don’t trust yourself.
You put other obligations first.
You don’t have time.
You feel what you are attracted to is “bad.”
You are not paying attention to what you are attracted to.
You are trying to impress other people.

When you begin to surround yourself with things you are attracted to, you are essentially surrounding yourself with You because what you love expresses who you are.  Everything around you is a form of self expression.  Make those things count!  Surround yourself with things that you love!

So, next time you hear someone say “just be yourself,” start looking around for things that you are attracted to, and then pursue them.

You will be yourself in no time.

Any other ideas on the phrase “Be Yourself”?  How do you define “being yourself”?  Please share in the comments!

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50 Quotes About Moving On

by Amanda Linehan on December 22, 2009 · 10 comments

photo by: josef.stuefer

Moving on is something we all have to do now and again.  But many times we don’t like to do it.

Leaving behind relationships, careers, the cities we live in, or even just a version of yourself that you have outgrown is painful, albeit necessary, to continue growing and moving forward.

Here are 50 quotes about the emotions, the process and the results of moving on.  Enjoy.

“There is a time for departure, even when there is no certain place to go.”  -  Tennessee William

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” – Albert Einstein

“You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.” – Oprah Winfrey

“Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard.” – Dave Mustaine

“One must be thrust out of a finished cycle in life, and that leap is the most difficult to make – to part with one’s faith, one’s love, when one would prefer to renew the faith and recreate the passion.”  – Anais Nin

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”  – Helen Keller

“I have accepted fear as a part of life – specifically the fear of change…I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back…”  – Erica Jong

“One change always leaves the way open for the establishment of others.”  – Niccolo Machiavelli

“Change means the unknown.”  – Eleanor Roosevelt

“To change skins, evolve into new cycles, I feel one has to learn to discard.  If one changes internally one should not continue to live with the same objects.  They reflect one’s mind and psyche of yesterday.  I throw away what has no dynamic, living use.”  – Anais Nin

“Let the past drift away with the water.”  – Japanese saying

“I demolish my bridges behind me…then there is no choice but forward.”  – Firdtjof Nansen

“Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence.”  – Sholem Asch

“The worst thing you can do is to try to cling to something that’s gone, or to recreate it.”  – Johnette Napolitano

“Don’t look back.  Something may be gaining on you.”  – Satchel Paige

“Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it is good only for wallowing.”  – Katherine Mansfield

“Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.”  – Alfred Lord Tennyson

“Sadness flies away on the wings of time.”  – Jean de La Fontaine

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”  – Winston Churchill

“There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.” – Harry Crews

“I thought when love for you died, I should die. It’s dead. Alone, most strangely, I live on.” – Rupert Brooke

“No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today.” – Brendan Francis

“Let the dead Past bury its dead!”  – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many – not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”  – Charles Dickens

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.”  – Soren Kierkegaard

“Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way.”  – Edna Ferbe

“The biggest thing in today’s sorrow is the memory of yesterday’s joy.”  – Kahlil Gibran

“Anyone who limits her vision to memories of yesterday is already dead.”  – Lily Langtry

“I like the dreams for the future better than the history of the past.”  – Thomas Jefferson

“The past is a funeral gone by.”  – Edmund Gosse

“Never let yesterday use up today.”  – Richard H. Nelson

“Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.”  – Percy Bysshe Shelley

“This, too, shall pass.”  – William Shakespeare

“What we call the beginning is often an end.  And to make an end is to make a beginning.  The end is where we start from.”  – T.S. Eliot

“Time is like a river of fleeting events, and its current is strong; as soon as something comes into sight, it is swept past us, and something else takes its place, and that too will be swept away.”  – Marcus Aurelius

“Make voyages.  Attempt them.  There’s nothing else.”  – Tennessee Williams

“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken, and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken pieces as long as I lived.”  – Margaret Mitchell

“With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future.  I live now.”  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The past is a bucket of ashes, so live not in your yesterdays, nor just for tomorrow, but in the here and now.”  – Carl Sandburg

“Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again.  Wisely improve the present, it is thine.  Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart.”  – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Don’t waste today regretting yesterday instead of making a memory for tomorrow.”  – Laura Palmer

“I just take one day.  Yesterday is gone.  Tomorrow has not come.  We have only today to love Jesus.”  – Mother Teresa

“The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.”  – Mignon McLaughlin

“When I look at the future, it’s so bright, it burns my eyes.”  – Oprah Winfrey

“Everything passes; everything wears out; everything breaks.”  – French Proverb

“Life is always at some turning point.”  – Irwin Edman

“Everything flows, nothing stays still.”  – Heraclitus

“One must never lose time in vainly regretting the past or in complaining against the changes which cause us discomfort, for change in the essence of life.”  – Anatole France

“Each new season grows from the leftovers from the past.  That is the essence of change, and change is the basic law.”  – Hal Borland

“Readjusting is a painful process, but most of us need it at one time or another.”  – Arthur Christopher Benson

Do you have any other “Moving On” quotes to add?  Please share in the comments!

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The Quick Guide To Self Reflection

by Amanda Linehan on December 18, 2009 · 5 comments

gato no espelhophoto by: Wagner Machado Carlos Lemes

Self reflection is the process of looking back at yourself and your life over a specific period of time.  It’s not hard, but creating the time to do it can be challenging.

It’s not hard, or even very complicated.  All it takes is asking yourself a couple of questions and seeing how you feel about the answers you come up with.  It can be quick too – a few minutes every day or a little longer than that every week or month is all you need to learn something about yourself and where you want to go.

So don’t wait any longer.  :)

How to (Pretty Quickly) Self Reflect

  1. Ask Yourself – What has gone well? – This is pretty simple.  First, pick a time period that you are reflecting upon.  And, in that time period, think about what went “well” for you.  How you define “well” is up to you.  “Well” could mean things you enjoyed, things that made you feel energized, things where you felt successful, things where you felt alive.  Also, don’t discount the little things.  If one of your favorite moments from yesterday was eating breakfast with your roommates, put that on the list.  There is no moment too small or insignificant that you can’t count it towards “going well.”
  2. Ask Yourself – What has not gone well? – This is also pretty simple.  In your time period think about the things that didn’t go well for you.  As before, the definition of this is up to you.  But, think about things that made you feel the opposite from the things you listed above.
  3. Ask Yourself – Why? – Now that you have your two lists, your work is almost done.  But, now you need to figure out why each item is on the list that you’ve put it on.  So, for each item, ask “why?“  This will give you clues as to what things make you feel alive, excited, energized, and successful (so you can begin to do more of these!), and also what things make you feel the opposite (so you can begin to avoid them!).  The more that you complete this exercise the more that you will see patterns and trends emerge.  And these patterns and trends emerging – those are the things that make up You.

How do you spend your reflection time?  Any other methods or questions you have found helpful?  Please share in the comments.

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5 Reasons Why It’s Great To Be INFP

by Amanda Linehan on December 14, 2009 · 27 comments

standing tall...photo by: spettacolopuro

I am an INFP. That’s Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Below are five reasons why it’s great to be INFP. These aren’t based on any kind of formal analysis. They are simply based on my life experience as an INFP.

If you are an INFP, you may often feel as if you are swimming against the current, as if you tend to see the world differently than many other people. And maybe you’ve also wished that you could just “be like everyone else.” Take some time to appreciate your own unique qualities that you possess. And remember what they say (whoever “they” are): it takes all kinds. :)

5 Great Qualities of the INFP

Your Vivid Imagination – The ability (and the desire) to sit for long periods of time and imagine things is a favorite INFP pastime. This might make you a good storyteller. Or, you may have a vision of the world, or of your community, or of some aspect of life that you think it is worthy of working towards. Just because you see it in your mind doesn’t mean it will automatically come to pass one day, but having a vision of what could be makes you a powerful force if you choose to act upon it. Just remember, what’s in your mind and what actually is will never quite match, but you can keep working on getting them as close as possible.

Your Depth of Feeling – You feel things a little more intensely than other people. This can be a painful, as events and circumstances that other people wouldn’t notice, the INFP is bothered by. But it can also be a wonderful thing, as the little moments of joy in life don’t pass unnoticed. You may think of yourself as being too sensitive, but, really, you are acutely aware and perceptive of the way it feels to Live, and this makes your experience of life very rich.

Your Relationships – Your desire for connection with other people is very strong. The connections you build have depth to them. You are a very good “bonder.” You are also an excellent friend to have, and despite your (probably) quiet demeanor, many people find it very pleasant to be around you. You make them feel peaceful, but they are not sure why.

Your Perception of the World – You are an observer. A very acute observer. And, things that other people miss, you tend to see. This knowledge of Life at a very subtle level makes you aware of the nuances of living. You can see the experience of life at it’s depths. Being an “observer” is often considered to be not as important as being a “doer,” but your observations are one of your very best gifts. Make sure you share them with others in some way.

Your Dedication to What You Love – You don’t like to do things that you don’t love. This can be painful when you feel like you have to. But, it can also keep you searching when others would have given up. And when you do find something you love, you put your soul into it. There is nothing for you that doesn’t involve love. So keep looking.

Imagination rules the world. – Napoleon Bonaparte

Any INFPs around? Agree or disagree? Have something to add? Other types – what are the best qualities of your own type? Please share your thoughts and ideas in the comments. :)

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“Look Far” Is Healthy Again

by Amanda Linehan on December 13, 2009

Just a quick update to let you all know that Look Far is, indeed, healthy again.  I believe I have taken care of the redirection problem, but if you do notice anything strange still happening, please let me know.

Thanks for all the messages of support!  Posting will resume tomorrow.  :)

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Just A Quick Note

by Amanda Linehan on December 9, 2009 · 2 comments

Hi Everyone! Just a “housekeeping” update. You may have noticed in the last few weeks that when you come to Look Far you are redirected onto another website. I have had a couple readers let me know that this has happened to them and I have experienced it myself. Just wanted to let you know that this is nothing of my own doing, and I apologize for the annoyance if this has happened to you. Looks like Look Far might have been hacked! Anyways, I am working on getting this fixed and hopefully Look Far will be healthy again very soon. Please bear with me!

Also, I’m new to this problem (thank God!) so if you have any suggestions as to what to do now please share! :)

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How To Discover A Creative Activity You Love

by Amanda Linehan on December 2, 2009 · 6 comments

photo by: extranoise

A creative activity is any activity that brings something new into the world. What that “something new” is will be up to you.

So, how do you find a creative activity that you love to practice? That’s simple. It’s an activity that makes you feel excited, energetic and where you have a desire to bring something new into the world. But if that doesn’t give you any clues, here are a few more tips.

Think of something you have always wanted to try. What has been nagging at you for months, or even years, to give it a try? There’s a very good chance that this thing that has gripped your mind is something you would likely be good at and enjoy very much. Trust your internal guidance.

Look past the traditional “arts” if you need to. Your favorite creative activity may be something traditionally thought of as creative. But it might not. If you have no interest in painting, sculpting, writing, dancing, ect, don’t worry! This doesn’t mean you are not creative. It simply means you will have to be creative in finding and defining your favorite creative ability.

Think back to when you were a kid. Kids are much freer in expressing themselves and usually have no qualms about stating what they do and don’t want to do. That’s why when you look back at yourself as a kid, and think about what you really liked to do, you probably really liked to do it. So, what did you really enjoy doing as a kid?

Think of something you have watched someone else do and thought was cool. If you pay attention to what attracts you, you will get some really good clues about what it is that you would love to create. When was the last time you saw someone do something that you wished you could do? Maybe you should try that thing out.

Think about what you like to “play” with. Play is a huge element in being creative. Play requires the player to suspend boundaries temporarily, let go of results and expectations and try many things without (too much) fear of failure. What do you like to play with?

What “problems” do you want to solve? Solving a problem is another huge element in being creative. The problem doesn’t have to be on a global level and it may not even seem like a “problem” on the surface. It may be something like, “how do I express what it feels like to watch the seasons change?” or “how do I throw an enjoyable party?” Look for the “problems” that make you want to find a solution.

Just pick something! In the end, trial and error may be the best approach. Pick an activity you think you will like and start doing it. If it holds your attention and you feel excited about it, you’ve probably found something. If not, and you don’t feel very energetic about it, scrap it, and move onto something new. You can play around with your creative ambitions as much as you like.

Any other tips on finding a creative activity you enjoy? How did you originally find yours? Still looking? Please share your ideas in the comments!

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One Huge Step Towards Happiness

by Amanda Linehan on November 24, 2009 · 13 comments

photo by: linh.ngan

If you can take only one step towards happiness, let it be this: Create.

Create something. Anything. Make it something you really enjoy doing. Or, learn to enjoy doing it during the process.

It could be something you’ve always wanted to try. Or, it could be something that you have been doing for years. Whatever your experience level with your chosen creation, practice it on a regular basis.

Don’t worry about the results. Don’t worry if it is good or not. Don’t worry what people might say. Just create.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t get paid for it or if it never receives critical acclaim. What matters is bringing your creation to life. Creating something where there was once nothing.

Engaging in the creative process takes us outside of the little experiences of daily life. You know those things that we shouldn’t pay that much attention to, but we do anyway. Those things take a back seat while practicing creativity.

You might just find yourself sitting down to create, and finding that hours have passed without you being aware of it. The process itself might become so enjoyable that you would practice this activity whether there were any external rewards or not. That’s because the creative process is it’s own reward.

Can you imagine if everything you did was it’s own reward? What would life feel like then?

“I began by tinkering around with some old tunes I knew. Then, just to try something different, I set to putting some music to the rhythm that I used in jerking ice-cream sodas at the Poodle Dog. I fooled around with the tune more and more until at last, lo and behold, I had completed my first piece of finished music. ” — Duke Ellington

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