3 Surprising Qualities of INFPs

This post originally appeared in my For INFPs Premium newsletter.

Out on the internet, INFPs are often described using the same language over and over again. Off the top of my head (and I’m specifically not looking at any sources because I don’t want to “spoil” myself for this essay), empathic, imaginative, kind, creative, whimsical, and emotional would be pretty typical to see in an article describing the INFP type. And I don’t think that any of these adjectives are wrong.

But I do think it’s not the whole story.

From my own experience, observation of other INFPs, and intuition, we have a few surprises up our sleeves. Most of which aren’t very visible to the naked eye. So, I thought I’d take a stab at discussing a few qualities that INFPs have that don’t usually get talked about when discussing INFPs. Here we go.

Unconventional

The more I think about this one, the more I’m surprised that it doesn’t get mentioned more, but INFPs are often unconventional. Now, it’s important to note here that this may not be associated with us because we go about it quietly. An INFP is not always obviously unconventional, and, in fact, from a distance (quite a distance?), we may look perfectly normal.

But that’s often not true. Due in significant part to our dominant function, Introverted Feeling (Fi), we can be highly individualistic. Fi makes us focus on how we feel about things, our emotional states, and what we value, not on how the group feels or how to attain group harmony. To put it bluntly, we are focused on our emotional selves first and filter all of life through that.

This allows us to perceive things quite differently from the average person, and those unusual perceptions (of which we can feel “rock solid” about) can lead to some strong convictions. How we like to do things and what we think is best for us in our lifestyles rests not on what the group says is the best thing to do but on what we feel is the best thing to do. And this can lead us off into some very unconventional directions.

Maybe it’s because of our empathy and kindness that the unconventionality isn’t always spotted (I mean, it’s probably the introversion, too). Still, I wouldn’t underestimate just how individualistic an INFP can be.

(Note: I did take some time to peruse INFP articles after writing this, and while I didn’t often see the word “unconventional,” both “unique” and “individualistic” are used fairly often. Although, I still think to a lesser degree than empathic, kind, imaginative, etc.

I’m keeping this one, though, because I still think it’s under-emphasized when it comes to INFPs, especially in terms of making life choices.)

Ambitious

This one is even a little difficult for me to explain because it seems so contradictory to an INFP’s nature, but it’s one that my intuition definitely says should be on this list.

An INFP’s ambition links back to being unconventional because you won’t typically find an INFP trying to climb a career ladder conventionally or trying to fill their bank accounts up just for the sake of stashing away profits. We want what we do to have meaning, and there is also meaning behind our ambition.

So, how do INFPs exercise ambition?

Usually, it’s something we feel strongly about, which aligns very well with our values (again, see Fi above). This could be a creative project we want to see realized in the world. Or, it could be something about life or our culture that we’d love to see changed. Maybe we have some vision for the future, for ourselves, our family, or our community. It could be a lifestyle we would enjoy living and feel would allow us to authentically express ourselves. But whatever it is, the stronger we feel about it, the more we can “latch” onto it.

And it’s this connection that will drive us forward, especially if it’s particularly challenging or tricky to realize. INFPs have a great capacity to affect change both inside of us and outside.

And this is where our ambition comes in.

It may take a tremendous effort (in various ways) to realize our visions, but we will stick to them until the very end if we feel strongly enough. Our ambition is the ambition to see things in reality in the way we see them inside our mind’s eye. And that is often no small task.

Courageous

Do you think of yourself as being brave? Have you ever been called that?

Being a unique soul requires a quiet kind of courage, and I wouldn’t underestimate this quality in yourself. Societally, when we have an image of bravery, it may be something like a knight or a warrior on horseback with a sword, slaying a dragon, or fighting an enemy. INFPs don’t typically carry swords (though, who knows?!), but we can possess the courage to be and show our unique selves.

When you are the one who is often going against the grain, it can feel lonely and, maybe even a little unsafe. Differences are not always appreciated in our world (understatement 😉 ). So, to walk through life staying true to who you are and what you value, even if that’s pretty weird, is brave. Having a conviction about how you think things should be and expressing that, even quietly, is brave. Walking toward a vision of a “new life” for you and/or others is brave.

No swords or horses are required. Or suits of armor, for that matter.

As an INFP, I love digging underneath the surface. And I love exploring underneath the surface of the INFP personality type as part of that. Everyone has qualities they show the world and those they don’t. The mystery of the individual lies in those things that are not easily seen in combination with surface-level traits.

I’m sure there is more to this list, but these three qualities came to me first. What do you think? Do these things sound about right? Are there any more surprising qualities of INFPs that you can think of?

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Amanda Linehan is the author of Productivity For INFPs. She is an independent author, coach, and INFP, who has published six full-length books and has been read in 113 countries. Amanda was a speaker at the INF Summit in February 2020. Learn more about her Productivity For INFPs Online Course on the course page.