I don’t think I have to go into detail on why we all may be experiencing more fear at this time. But it did make me think about the last three years of my life, as I quit my job and transitioned into being a full time writer.
I’ve had plenty of fear. And a part of my journey was learning to manage it. So here’s a few tips.
Do Things That Are Soothing To You–When things would get overwhelming for me, I learned to take the time to do things that soothed me. For me, this could be going outside–for a walk, on the deck, hiking–just something outside, drinking tea and sitting quietly, talking to a supportive friend, listening to music–something without any vocals, ideally, piano music is great–or listening/reading/watching someone who’s work I found inspiring and interesting. This is always a good thing to do, but when my fear levels were especially high, it was ESSENTIAL. It brought me back down to relative calm, where I could see things from a different perspective.
Go Slowly–This is a big one. When my fear levels are high, I want to react. I want to take some action that, I hope, will reduce my fear. But what tends to happen is I start rushing around and forcing things. This DOES NOT reduce my fear. It tends to only make it grow. So I learned to slow down when I needed to, taking more breaks during the day and making time to sit/lie down and be quiet.
Find Support–Reaching out to other people can be great in helping you not feel so alone and overwhelmed with your feelings. This can mean face to face or over the phone, which is especially supportive if it’s a trusted friend, or it could mean a virtual community. Talking with others about what’s going on with you releases some of the pressure of what you’re feeling and hearing about someone else’s feelings and thoughts makes you realize you’re not the only one freaking out about your problems! We all freak out sometimes. It’s just nice not to feel so alone with it.
Let Yourself Feel Afraid–I found that pushing away feelings of fear tended to intensify them, and admitting that I had them lessened the intensity. And then I could do something about them. It doesn’t feel very good to be afraid, especially if it’s insistent. Fear is an emotion that I tent to want to get rid of/push away/ignore, but none of those really help. I’m human after all and fear is simply one of the basic emotions we all experience. It was okay to be afraid, I learned. If I can be present with it, it will eventually move on, just like all emotions.
Breathe–Okay, this one may sound like the worst kind of cliche, but doing intentional breathing exercises can really help with fear. The way we pull breath in and out of our bodies contributes to how we feel. Think about what happens to your breath when you are afraid. Taking a few minutes to slow down and even out my breathing can make me feel a lot calmer. One of my favorite exercises is simply to sit somewhere, put a hand on my belly and focus on it expanding when I breathe in and pulling back toward my body when I breathe out.
Being afraid is no fun, but I’ve found that it’s just part of the journey. It’s never going away completely, but there are ways to manage fear.
And don’t forget to appreciate all the great things going on around you too.
Amanda Linehan is the author of North, about a young woman on the run from her past, the law and an old adversary out to get her. Her newest release is Bored To Death: A Vampire Thriller, about a 300-year-old vampire trying to restore the balance between life and death. She has published five novels. Get a free short story every month when you sign up for her newsletter.
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