🙂
Being a writer is tough. There is a lot of failure and rejection to deal with and the advice typically goes, “Keep your head up and look on the bright side,” which isn’t bad advice. We all need to do that sometimes.
But at other times, I like to lean in to those less pleasant, more uncomfortable emotions–anger, frustration, sadness, feeling discouraged, envy…(this list could go on for a while, right?) I like letting myself play with these emotions, as dark as it can get, and I find that when I let them in, eventually it’s time for them to leave, and they go.
The thing about always turning to the bright side is you don’t get a chance to be on the dim side. Times when things look bleak, when you wonder if you should give up, when you don’t think you can take any more rejection. There’s some good stuff here, not just for your writing journey, but for you personal growth journey as well.
Writing, like anything in life really, comes with ups and downs. I find it important to be present to both the ups and the downs. Experiencing both has value to me.
Trying to always be positive feels a little thin to me and a little unrealistic too. Wondering if I should really keep doing this while feeling shitty can help me to recommit to writing and also clarify why I’m doing this. And the thing is, I always recommit. 🙂 (I can’t help it!)
But that’s important information for me to have because then I know that something is keeping me going. There’s still something motivating me to go forward whether I know exactly what it is or not.
And that brings me to another point: quitting. I find no shame in deciding that something isn’t for me. That isn’t likely to be writing anytime soon, but in this re-commitment process you get to decide whether to keep moving forward, or not.
And remember too, even if you’re throwing a rager of a pity party, your guests should eventually go home. You don’t want to force yourself to be positive all the time, nor do you want your pity party to go on any longer than it needs to.
Amanda Linehan is the author of North, about a young woman on the run from her past, the law and an old adversary out to get her. Her newest release is Bored To Death: A Vampire Thriller, about a 300-year-old vampire trying to restore the balance between life and death. She has published five novels. Get a free short story every month when you sign up for her newsletter.
Hi Amanda. I really connected with this. Re-commitment is something I’ve been thinking about a lot too lately. Yes, it can be tough as a writer. And I agree – just pretending that’s it’s “all good ” is kind of thin. I think you are a writer with a wonderful perspective – you put things in a different kind of a frame – and with the kind of immediacy and sense of things flowing that it’s easy to both feel inspired and also go along for the ride. I am glad you recommitted one more time, and even if you ever didn’t, as you say, it’s all good. Obviously, storytelling is part of you, and I guess that’s what drives us as writers even though things can be very hard sometimes. Weighing things and recommitting, if it still feels worth it, is definitely the way to do it. At this point, I feel more and more like writing needs to be “for me,” that I now do it in the most playful, energizing way possible, and that I am not “for it.” I don’t want to be unnecessarily unhappy in the service of my writing and I think, that’s okay.
Ritu – I like your emphasis on “playful and energizing.” Sounds like more fun and is probably a lot more calming!