Probably everyone wants to improve their relationships in some way. INFPs are no different. But, INFPs often perceive unique relationship challenges based on their particular personality characteristics. If you can think differently about your relationships, you can change them for the better.
Realize that not everyone is scrutinizing you the way you are scrutinizing yourself.
INFPs are introspective. You know a lot about yourself. And, you probably are very aware of yourself when you are in a social situation. But realize that you are probably way more sensitive to what you are doing than other people around you are.
When you understand that the person you’re talking to isn’t fixated on every detail of your behavior, you can relax and actually enjoy their company. Let go of the little things you feel you are doing wrong. I can almost assure you the other person hasn’t noticed.
Know that you have qualities that other people really enjoy.
INFPs are very likeable. This may come as a surprise to you if you generally think that you are “too quiet” or “too sensitive” or “not social enough.”
For one, INFPs tend to really like people in a very genuine way. People like people who like them, and others pick this up about you. Also, there is probably a fair chance that you are a good listener, and this always goes over well. Just remember to do a little talking yourself. Let people in on all the observations you pick up that they probably aren’t very conscious of. Who knows? You may even be funny.
Don’t try to compete with others.
Have you ever wanted to be that person who always has something to say and seems to be surrounded with people everywhere they go? Yeah, don’t try and out-do that person at their own game. Just be yourself.
That may look a lot quieter and reflective than that person described above, but you will be much more attractive to people as you really are. And, you will probably attract people to you who are a good match!
Discover the art of small talk.
This is important. Generally, INFPs want to talk about things they feel have depth and meaning because this is very fulfilling for them. But when meeting people for the first time or interacting with people you don’t know well it’s best to start with some small talk.
The key here is to understand that its not the content of what you are talking about that matters. It’s simply that you are talking and making a connection with someone else. So talk about the most obvious things – the weather, a popular current event, traffic conditions, where you live, etc. There are plenty of things to talk about when you think about what things people most have in common with each other.
Laugh at yourself.
When you think about all the things that make you different from other people (or that make you feel like you’re different) it can be overwhelming to try and relate. But, if you can observe yourself (which you can) and see the humor in the way you do things, you can use those differences to forge a connection with someone else.
For instance, if people constantly find you staring out the window seemingly doing nothing (you know and I know that you are thinking), make a joke out of it. It will diffuse the tension. You have to understand that for many people that seems like a strange thing to do, but to INFPs it’s totally normal! The trick is to understand this, but to still feel comfortable with it. That’s where you can find the humor and share it with other people. They will appreciate it.
Any other ideas to add? Leave them in the Comments below.