Think about all of the people who have come and gone from your life. (It’s a lot, isn’t it?) Have you ever tried to stop an important person in your life from going? Maybe your best friend at work has accepted a new job and you are worried that you will be lonely. Or, your long-distance boyfriend or girlfriend has decided that the distance has become too much and they want to end the relationship even though their feelings for you haven’t changed.
When we feel the need for growth in our lives, this sometimes distances us (in a variety of ways) from our current relationships. It’s not that we want to get away from these people, it’s just that the growth we are looking for requires us to go.
Just as you need space in your life to grow, so do others. Instead of resisting the loss of people in your life, understand that just as you have a desire to go new places and have new experiences so do they. Learn to let go of others when it’s their time to go.
We Expect The World To Conform To Us
We often expect that the external world (including the people in our life) will conform to us. When it doesn’t, we get upset. This is a silly way to think, but we do it anyways because we don’t like the uncertainty that it brings.
Instead of expecting the world to conform to you, try adapting yourself to the world. This includes the relationships in your life. When someone does something that you don’t like, remember that it’s not all about you. Let that person do what they need to do. You would appreciate the same from someone else. This simply means to grant your unconditional support to this person’s needs and wants, even when (especially when) it’s something that affects you.
Growth Requires A Journey
You need to take your journey, and others need to take theirs. It’s inevitable that growing into a sense of self will require change at certain points. Don’t stand in the way of other’s journeys. How would you feel if someone tried to block your own journey? In fact, you probably already know what this feels like.
Let Others Be As They Are
In our relationships, we often try to control the characteristics of the other person. Have you been in a relationship where someone wanted to change who you were? Have you been in a relationship where you wanted to change someone else? Almost everyone will agree that this almost never works and feels terrible. When you acknowledge that another person always has the free choice to be who they are – wherever that takes them – you give them a gift.
When you let someone be as they are, the gratitude this person feels towards you will never be replaced. You have allowed this person to be what they need to be, and acknowledged their inherent value as they are.
It’s sad when others leave us. But, remember, just as people leave our lives, others enter it. You don’t have to be afraid of your own growth, and you don’t have to be afraid of other people’s growth.